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It’s Not About You!

Stop taking things personally. Take your power back and start navigating life with ease and joy!

There is a good reason Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements has sold over 15 million copies in 52 languages and topped the New York Times bestsellers list for over a decade! I have gifted this book many times and attempt to live my life true to these teachings. As a sensitive empath, I personally found Agreement #2, ‘Don’t take anything personally,’ the most difficult agreement to embrace.

Rooted in Toltec philosophy, The Four Agreements claim that everything we do is based on agreements we have made with ourselves, others, God, and life.

The book highlights the many ways we unnecessarily suffer due to our assumptions and emotional reactions to life events. Something happens, we create a story about it, and root it deep within our consciousness and belief system. The teachings in this book provide an alternative perspective that helps us make new agreements to navigate life events with greater ease and much more joy!

Don’t take anything personally

Ruiz explains that:
•  Nothing others do is because of you.
•  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
•  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

When we fully understand and embrace this agreement, what others say or do will no longer impact our life in a negative way. However, if we choose to accept others’ actions and words directed against us, or acknowledge it as our truth, we give away our power and open ourselves up to needless suffering. Do you really want to let the opinions and actions of others dictate our happiness?

The truth is, everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. People snap or become aggressive towards others when they have reached their maximum or haven’t dealt with their personal traumas—personal life events that have nothing to do with you.

Embracing this agreement will test you

Try to be more compassionate. Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. (Don’t get me wrong, this is not easy, nor am I 100% able to catch myself when faced with what feels like a personal attack.) But in the heat of the moment, try taking a step back and give yourself, and ultimately the other person, the space needed to understand what is ultimately behind their reactions. I have found that when I stop and realize that what is happening isn’t about me, it diffuses me long enough to seek understanding. Often, asking a clarifying question like ‘What is this really about?’ is all I need to lead the conversation towards the deeper issue at hand.

My advice

If you fail, do not judge yourself. Try again. Stay focused on the present moment and recognize that every moment is a new opportunity to stand deep in your truth and choose peace over taking personally the beliefs, actions, and words of others. Just remember, your happiness is at stake.

The bottom line

It can be hard to see things from a broader perspective without internalizing, making it about us, or taking it on as our truth. When we consciously choose not to take anything personally and accept that others are fighting their own personal battles with compassion, we open ourselves up to freedom and peace over our lives, free of hurt, resentment, and anger at the hands of others’ actions.

To learn more about these teachings, pick up a copy of this book at your local bookstore or online.

If you found this article useful and wish to learn more about how to consciously build a fulfilling life with purpose, check out the Ringmaster Nation Signature Path to Purpose Program.

Your fellow Ringmaster,
Traci